inside OUT.

if i dont see you then i dont have to say goodbye.
you'd always come close but you never come easy.
the mundaneness of missing you ever excites me.
what more if i see you?


Merry Chistmas.

Her.its like waiting for snowfall.

i could write you something and you'd never notice.
outright whining & griping & yearning in planeview, its just something i can never do.
Right. . .


It was a rather short week, 2 days of mc definitely makes a big big difference.
Why does time fly when im a civilian?
Its like theres a timezone separating camp and out-of-camp.
Theres so many things i would like to do when im out, but time is such a spoil sport, she never plays along.
Back in camp, i'd plan to do stuff, but it never takes off. . .

Christmas is coming, but this year is different!
I dont know why, but i really dislike presents now. . .maybe just a little!
I was just thinkin, christmas is probably the most lucrative 'festival'.
Xmas trees are fine but really when you start thinkin of, 'hey wat does she/he want?'
What does GOD want? ever thought of that. . .
Hardly i reckon.
Christmas is just the chance for businesses to prey on generous pockets eh.
This world is disgusting.

Pardon me thats just the other part of me thinking, the one thats usually in green 5 days a week. . .
the one thats usually closer to GOD when GOD is really the only one he has during 80% of the week. . .

Freedom changes a person i guess, i can vouch for it. Distractions, varieties leads to the digression of our attention that should all be focus on GOD. It sucks when someone only comes to you for help when hes/shes in deep shit, other than that you dont see him/her. I know i wouldnt like it. Weekends turn me into someone else, not a very nice person but i do try to maintain that 'all-weather-relationship' with GOD. Its just difficult but all you can do is try, and try, and try again & again & again.

So for christmas, lets all take time to remember whos birthday it really is. . .

Until her heart stops.

Keeping up with you is something i could never do,
until your gone, the fasten-seat-belt sign will always be on. . .
A poor choice of words or none at all,
i thought action spoke louder than words, i was wrong i guess. . .
My mistake for leading you to leading me on.
And ive missed you. . .


Its a tuesday morning & i dont believe ive blogged on a tuesday morning of the year 2006. Heh im on mc for shingles and bugger i didnt realise it was till last sat. I had all along thought it was some muscular ache until a red spot appeared. Its all too coincidental that my sis gave birth last wed, and i havent really seen the young chap since thursday night. . .Anyhow my shingles have not subsided even after 4 days of medication and i dont mean to chao keng or what but i really think i should see the MO tomorrow or somthing just to make sure. i mean its my social responsibility that my fellow bunk mates to get infected. . .(excuses)



i miss you so much, a self-inflicted coma,
days drag on like marathons, im running with bare feet. . .

Decembers~~~Hawthorne Heights

The Long Road Home

hello again, its been too long. . .
Well nothing much has changed, save for my outlook at life.
For now ive nothing to look forward to, except my weekly book out, but the joy is short lived after 48 hrs...And of course ORD. But that'll take a while.
Well on the brighter side, i've grown closer to my Father in heaven and my dearest Mother Mary. I talk to myself these days. The lack of good company with tasteful linguistics have turned me to a reclusive bloke. I dont really Talk talk to myself i merely hold conversations with God and Mother Mary, and occasionally when im feelin a tinge of apprehension i do the sign of the cross! Call me whatever, but right now these are the simple things in life that give me that well needed boost in spirits.
Im bored. And im miserable. occasionally emo.


this silence echoes the words you need to hear,
the letter postmarked december of last year.

im no good at comebacks and you know that, right?
i was never the forthcomin one, though i tried many a times, the signals you sent were often misread. . .

this silence is ever so deafening, every minute every second only adds on the decibels. . .
before i go deaf, please hear me out . . .
pace with me now, i can never keep up. . .
body language never looked so good. . .
do have the eyes to see me, least when you're bored i could play Mr Significant even if its just in ur imagination. . .
how soon do we forget?
no matter im at a standstill so you'll know where to find me when you comeback. . .if you do comeback. . .


shianipootiks i reckon, life down by HQ. but i dont wanna gripe considerin im closer to home now. . .
thanks be to GOD for that!

i woke up this morning feelin good, you know like when you just had one of those uberly sweet dreams that makes you go jelly and soft, yea i had one of those. i dreamnt i locked lips 'May and Choy's Choy, like it makes a difference. ahaha. Well the only disturbin thing was that i had to stand on a stool jst to reach her lips, other than that it was goood. . . Hmmm i usually had the notion that a 'nightmare on elm street' sorta dream would follow after sitting through a horror movie, well at least 3/4 of it . . .thankfully none of that!

So i pass out from SI in 2 weeks as a trusty signaller and its off to unit life which from hearsay can be rather tough when its tough and slack when its slack. hopefully it'll be slack when its tough and slacker when its slack. eh?

i really miss you and wish i could kiss you,
but why are you so far away?
i guess i could call you & ask you, 'how are you?'
but i really dont have much to say. . .
i si alone & i stare at the phone & i hope that your doing okay. . .

Alone in Santa Cruz ~ The Ataris

wish i had written that. . .

so it doesnt help me in writing this, with the exorcism of emily rose on the tv at the moment. . . its jst distractingly scary and interruptively disturbing. My dad's watching it and partially my fault for suggesting it to be on. i dont usually dig em horror flicks but heh decided to put my balls to the test, fret im a the losing end. i'll just stick to my belief that life is already scary enough and theres no need to scare urself on purpose. . .

Life is SCARY isnt it? will i live through this? will i wake up tomorrow? will i choke on the sticky rubbery bit in calamari rings? can i go home? will i be a 'prosperous' looking signaller? will she say yes? yea all the woes of this old-boy-young-man. . .

well its another wkend at the movies and yea i watched Click! i must say its a good movie with a very good message behind it, so catch it!!!

This is going nowhere man, with screaming coming off and on frm the telly, i'll write something good with a point sometime soon. God be with me. . .and everyone!